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THE LEVISON LETTER
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Action Ideas For Better Direct Mail,
E-mail, Web Sites & Advertising
Published by
Ivan Levison, Direct Response Copywriting
November, 2002
Volume: 17 Number: 11
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Improve your copywriting by being specific
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I got my first copywriting job, back in the 70s, at a
terrific agency in San Francisco called Botsford Ketchum.
One of the first accounts I ever worked on was Mother's
Cookies. My boss started me off by having me work on a
little ad.
I went to my cube, wrote the piece, and took it to him
for his comments.
He looked it over and said, "I see you wrote 'more
chocolate chips in every cookie.' That's O.K., but it
would be better if you had said something like 'two
tablespoons of rich chocolate chips in every single
cookie.' It's always better to be specific. It adds
credibility."
He was absolutely right, and I've never forgotten the
lesson. When your writing is filled with detail, it has
a lot more impact.
Let's take a closer look at how much more powerful
headlines are when they become specific. I'll crank out
a few for us to look at:
GENERAL: Mistakes database marketers make
SPECIFIC: The seven biggest mistakes database marketers
make - and how to avoid them!
GENERAL: Important tips for software marketers
SPECIFIC: Three tips for software marketers that can
increase revenues 25% or more!
GENERAL: How to improve network security
SPECIFIC: Five ways to tighten network security now!
See what I mean? Telling the reader exactly how many
things they'll learn makes the claim less abstract and a
lot more credible.
Another way to juice up your copy is to look for ways to
use adjectives for extra impact. If you use adjectives
correctly, you can give your writing a terrific shot in
the arm. Let me show you . . . Take a look at the
following sentence:
"Our software can help users find files fast."
Wouldn't it be better to liven things up a bit? How about:
"Our breakthrough software can help you find files
incredibly fast!"
Or we can flip the sentence and do it this way:
"Want to find any file in under three seconds? Our
breakthrough software is just what you're looking for!"
Here are two other examples of how a few adjectives can
spice up your copy:
WRONG: Only DazzlePainter lets you choose from a number
of colors!
RIGHT: Only DazzlePainter lets you choose from a
dazzling array of over 256 brilliant colors!
WRONG: InstantWill was written by a team of practicing
attorneys.
RIGHT: InstantWill was created by a celebrated team of
highly respected attorneys - each a leading authority
on the subject of wills, living trusts, and estate
planning.
You see? It's not so hard to add punch to your writing
if you put in a little effort.
The take-away message this month?
When you pin things down and get very concrete, very
specific, your writing becomes a LOT more compelling.
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How To Get In Touch
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Ivan Levison
Direct Response Copywriting
14 Los Cerros Drive
Greenbrae, CA 94904
Phone: (415) 461-0672
Fax: (415) 461-7738
E-mail: ivan@levison.com
Web Site: http://www.levison.com
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Copyright 2005, by Ivan Levison, All Rights Reserved.
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