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THE LEVISON LETTER
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Action Ideas For Better Direct Mail,
E-mail, Web Sites & Advertising
Published by
Ivan Levison, Direct Response Copywriting
May, 2004
Volume: 19 Number: 4
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How to start a persuasive sales letter
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In a recent Sunday issue of the New York Times, I came
upon a 12-page insert promoting The Economist, a wonderful
magazine that I've enjoyed for years.
The production values of The Economist's slick piece,
designed to attract new subscribers, were absolutely first
rate. The insert featured four-color printing, attractive
art direction, a terrific "free trial" offer, etc.
There was one big problem, however. The two-page pitch
letter, that was part of the mailer, sounded as if it was
written by a non-native speaker. I just don't get it. I
wish someone could explain to me how a letter like this
ever sees the light of day.
Here . . . read the first two paragraphs of the letter
yourself and see what YOU think of it:
"Dear Colleague:
There is no doubt that The Economist is enjoying an
unprecedented dynamism in the latter half of its second
century. Its unlikely name is bandied about and bragged
upon in the highest places. Our essentiality has arrived.
The interdependency of the world has been brought home
all
too clearly. The case for global intelligence has been
made. The Economist provides it in a unique and refreshing
way. Thus, our reputation."
See what I mean? Instead of trying to appear so darned
erudite, (and winding up sounding muddled), the writer
of the letter should have stuck to basics.
How should the writer have begun the letter? More
importantly, how should YOU begin YOUR next sales letter?
My advice to all non-professional copywriters is to
come
out swinging. Make your offer right up front!
Let me show you how much better the Economist letter
would
have been had the writer skipped the fluff and led with the offer.
"Dear Friend:
Bill Gates, the Chairman of Microsoft, recently said,
"The
magazine I spend most of my days reading is The
Economist."
Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle, said, "I used to
think. Now
I just read The Economist."
If you want to see for yourself why The Economist has
such
incredibly enthusiastic (and successful) readers, here's a
no-risk FREE offer not to be missed . . .
Return the postage-paid "Free Trial Acceptance
Card" and
I'll make sure you get four free issues of The Economist
at no cost and with no obligation to continue.
All I ask is that YOU be the judge . . . etc."
You get the picture. When you're starting a letter, set things
up quickly, then plunge right into the offer. You won't go
too far wrong.
(NOTE: Those terrific Gates and Ellison quotes are real
by
the way!)
If you're interested in some other effective ways to
start
a sales letter, check out the issue of The Levison Letter
titled "Ten Great Ways To Start A Letter." You'll find it
at:
http://www.levison.com/december_2002.html
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How To Get In Touch
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Ivan Levison
Direct Response Copywriting
14 Los Cerros Drive
Greenbrae, CA 94904
Phone: (415) 461-0672
Fax: (415) 461-7738
E-mail: ivan@levison.com
Web Site: http://www.levison.com
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