How a copywriter should use bullets correctly

Ivan Levison —
Direct Mail, E-mail and Advertising Copywriting

Action Ideas For Better Direct Mail,
E-mail, Web Sites & Advertising

Published by
Ivan Levison, Direct Response Copywriting

March 2000
Volume: 15 Number: 3

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How a copywriter should use bullets correctly
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Software marketers these days, have to worry about big,
important issues . . . branding, click-through rates, Web
site "stickiness," you name it.

But as we all know, marketing success ultimately hinges
on how you handle all the little details. In other words,
how you execute.

So let's jump from the strategic to the tactical level and
take a look at an extremely narrow, seemingly trivial
subject.

Why? Because I want to try to demonstrate that when
you're writing a letter, e-mail, ad, or Web site, a whole lot
of thought can and should go into the nittiest of gritties.

So let's talk about bullets.

DEFINITION: A bullet is a dot, or other symbol, followed
by a short sentence or phrase that's used to communicate
information very quickly.

+ This is an example of a bullet.

"Big deal. So what about it?" you ask.

The answer is, even a humble list of bullets can be
transformed into an extraordinarily powerful selling tool
if you handle it the right way. And many high-tech
marketers don't.

Let me give you an example . . . Let's pretend that the
publisher of a new Contact Management software product
is writing a lead-generation letter to prospects. She is
trying to get the reader to request a free brochure titled
"Unlocking the Power of Contact Management Software."

Here is how the bullet list, positioned in the middle of the
letter, might be written the WRONG way:

"Call right now for your free brochure. It explains a
number of important features our new product has to
offer:

+ Increases your productivity.

+ Tracks all activities within every account.

+ Allows you to manage the sales process.

+ Keeps you in touch with valued customers.

+ Fully Web-integrated.

+ Works on the PC, Mac, and PalmPilot platforms."

What's wrong with this copy? The set-up lines, leading
into the bullets, are flat and unmotivating. And the bullets
themselves are dead. There is no SELLING going on. Who
the heck is going to request the free brochure when the
benefits are so darned bloodless?

Now, let's rewrite the passage and add a little OOMPH . . .

"Why is it so important for you to request this "must
read" free brochure? Because it provides proven, practical
ideas for quickly and dramatically increasing sales -- ideas
you just can't find anyplace else. For example, we'll show
you . . .

+ How to turn the business cards in your drawer into a
winning sales campaign. It's worth requesting your free
brochure for this section alone! (Page 2.)

+ Five ways to get a flood of great new leads coming down
the pipeline! (Page 4.)

+ Three techniques for closing sales in half the time! (Page
5.)

+ How to launch a money-making, non-spamming, e-mail sales
campaign with just three clicks of your mouse. (Page 6.)

+ The four biggest mistakes salespeople make -- and how
you can avoid them! (Page 8.)

+ How five real-life salespeople used our software to
increase their income by 35% -- and how you can too!
(Page 11.)

And that's just for starters!"

See what I mean? A little thought, a little energy, and
things come to life.

The takeaway message this month . . .

If you pay attention to the details, and try to make every
single part of your letter, ad, or e-mail truly motivating,
you can dramatically increase response rates.

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How To Get In Touch
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Ivan Levison
Direct Response Copywriting
14 Los Cerros Drive
Greenbrae, CA 94904

Phone: (415) 461-0672
Fax: (415) 461-7738
E-mail: ivan@levison.com
Web Site: http://www.levison.com

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