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THE LEVISON LETTER
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Action Ideas For Better Direct Mail,
E-mail, Web Sites & Advertising
Published by
Ivan Levison, Direct Response Copywriting
January, 2006
Volume: 21 Number: 1
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Copywriting the end of a sales letter the RIGHT way
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Every copywriter knows that it's extremely important
to
start a sales letter (paper or email) correctly.
In the first couple of sentences you have to grab the
reader's
attention and get them on your side. If you don't, the
greatest product features, the most wonderful benefits in
the world, won't get you anywhere.
What is not as widely appreciated is the fact that you
also
must handle the ending of your sales letter with equal skill.
All too often, copywriters seem to run out of steam
and settle
for a flabby, weak ending which can really hurt response.
Let me show you what I mean.
Here is the last paragraph from an old Symantec sales
letter intended to upgrade their WinFax Pro installed-
base to the latest version:
"Don't wait . . . call 1-800-631-8118 today to
upgrade to the
new WinFax Pro 9.0 for only $49.95. I guarantee you'll
enjoy its new features right from the start! If not, return
it within 60 days for a full refund (excluding shipping
and handling).**
Sincerely, P.S., etc.
**Subject to the terms of our license and warranty."
What a downer! Out of all the upbeat, motivating ways
to
end a letter, why highlight the fact that you are excluding
shipping and handling from your guarantee - then add
insult to injury by adding asterisks that refer to the terms
of your license and warranty?
Not a good choice! You should never end your letter
with
a reference to a legalism. (Another thing to avoid is ending
with your fax or 800 number. I would guess that about
HALF of all direct mail letters end with a phone or fax number!)
Nope. It's much better to end on an upbeat note that
really has some energy, some spirit, and some motivating
power.
Let's take a look at the ending of an old Quicken 99
sales
letter from my file that works much better:
"After all, you've worked hard getting where you
are today.
You deserve to have your money work hard for you. And
there's no better, easier way to do that than with Quicken 99 -
the indispensable financial tool that helps you recognize
when opportunity is knocking . . . and opens the door to a
brighter, more comfortable, more secure future!
Sincerely, P.S., etc."
Yes. Intuit used a copywriter who stayed awake on the
job all
the way to the end and it shows!
Just as a method actor has to discover the "emotional
truth"
of the scene and make it come alive for the audience, the
copywriter has to discover the core "truth" of the selling
proposition and make it shine in the final paragraph. That's
exactly what the writer did in the Quicken letter quoted
above.
As a copywriter, sometimes you have to really struggle
to figure
out what this truth is. For example, some years ago, before
I started working mainly for high-technology clients,
I wrote a direct mail package for the Atlanta Golf Classic.
I kept writing glowing prose about the great golf that
the
reader would see at the Classic, but I just didn't feel that I was
connecting. I hadn't found the "hot button" that would get
big
companies to buy a lot of tickets.
Then it dawned on me that the Atlanta Golf Classic was
offering corporate attendees a lot more than golf. They
were giving companies the chance to build relationships
with valued clients by inviting them out for the day. This
was a chance for executives to kick back and get away from
the office, have a few drinks, and make some deals. This
human dimension, not merely the golf, is what had to be
massaged in the letter's ending. The light bulb lit up and
I knew I was on to something. The ending wrote itself:
"On a personal note, let me add that the BellSouth
Atlanta
Classic is a truly magnificent sporting event that I know you,
clients, and customers will enjoy tremendously.
If you want to have a fabulous time, while you create
or
strengthen important business relationships, I urge you
to pick up tickets while they're still available.
The dogwood will be in bloom. The weather will be beautiful.
These are the days you always said you owed yourself!
Sincerely, etc."
How much better than simply saying, "To order your
tickets
call 1-800-224-8976."
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How To Get In Touch
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Ivan Levison
Direct Response Copywriting
14 Los Cerros Drive
Greenbrae, CA 94904
Phone: (415) 461-0672
Fax: (415) 461-7738
E-mail: ivan@levison.com
Web Site: http://www.levison.com
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